Taking Risks: Anxiety, Fear, and Self-Worth
Lately I have been faced with BIG decisions. Bigger life decisions can scare me because of my own perfectionism getting in the way. If I don’t make the right choice, how long will it take me to recover? Will my finances be affected? Will I regret it? How will I adjust to these changes? My fear boils down to: “failure.”
I don’t know about you, but anxiety seems to swarm me when trying to make a pro/con list. In theory it sounds helpful, logical, and applicable, but I find it makes me spiral into thoughts that further prevent me from making a decision. Even though I still do them, (hey, self-sabotage) I try to reframe negative thinking by remembering that having knowledge is power, and I will want to know all the good and bad before making a decision, especially if it’s a big risk! I also try to remember that at the end of the day, I rarely ever fail myself. I’ve always made the best decisions I could with the information I have, so I need to trust myself.
Ah, you weren’t too sure how self-worth was gonna tie into all of this, huh? Well, howdy, it is here! Self-worth plays a crucial role in decision making. If we don’t trust ourselves or believe we are resilient and successful, we are then trapped in a headspace of doom and limitations. One of my goals in life is to only worry about what I can control. When taking risks, all I can control is the knowledge I learn about pros/cons and making the choice itself. Outside of that, how the decision plays out is in the control of the universe…ew. Alas, that is my only control, and I need to have faith in myself that things WILL work out, it may just not look like what I imagine, or happen on my impatient as hell timeline.
I also think self-doubt reflects our self-image. Who are we without our successes? I imagine social media and society itself are major forces that skew are self-image. Is anything really what it seems? Are we comparing ourselves to an unreachable, nonexistent reality? Likely. At the end of the day, there is always a risk to be taken. There will always be an unknown staring back at us. But we cannot, and I mean, WE CANNOT, forget to live! Fear, self-doubt, and anxiety can be so crippling. We often choose to live in the safe little bubble we know and trust, but remain unhappy (Insert image of Jake Gyllenhaal as Bubble Boy). Sometimes making mistakes or not making that right choice takes us EXACTLY where we are meant to be, even if it is uncomfortable for a while. But, as all us therapists say, without discomfort, there is no change! So here is a choice for you: remain unhappy and anxious or try to make it better. What will you choose?
Moral of the story: Take the Risk! Maybe for now, you choose the safest route and increase risk as you go. Regardless, stop sitting with these spiraling thoughts. You are worth the risk. You are worth leaving your protective cocoon and soaring to new heights (cheesy)? Worst case scenario, you make another choice that provides more comfort or you learn a valuable lesson. Remember though, even in that worst case scenario, you still lived. You trusted yourself. You saw your worth and acted on it. To me, that’s some damn good self-love.
Kicking ass and taking risks,
Stephanie Lindsey
