Am I Indecisive? I’m Not Sure
Sometimes being indecisive is harmless, but when do clinicians and clients begin to deem it unhealthy? The answer: when indecisiveness becomes pervasive - impacting happiness, triggering worry, low self-esteem, regret, and people pleasing behaviors.
If one or more of these affect you, let’s talk about it. For a lot of people, the downfall is attempting to make other people happy, even before themselves. This will lead to resentment and anger over time, causing issues in the relationship - and more uncomfortable decisions. I see a lot of people use pro/con lists to help make decisions. Unfortunately, for many people, pro/con lists won’t work because they only address the symptoms, not the root of the issue. We must first increase our self-awareness as to why indecisiveness exists. For example, if people pleasing is what comes up for you, why did this develop? Maybe, parentification as a child, being bullied, feeling like the “ugly ducking” or “not enough,” etc. The way we think, feel, and behave towards ourselves and in comparison to others is usually a good place to start when tracking the root.
Resume to present day, it is also important to tell yourself that a perfect decision doesn’t exist. Someone will be left unsatisfied (and that is ok), so we must find acceptance and execute boundaries, then attempt a decision.
When we can’t look inward or address the root concern, we often deal with the repercussions i.e., our work suffering, burnout, feeling fearful or full of regret, and even thoughts of “I am a failure” or “I am not enough” (these thoughts and beliefs show up a lot, don’t they)? If we can’t trust ourselves, then we will never trust our instincts to decide - forever leading to indecisiveness, rocky relationships, trust issues, and more.
So, how do you combat indecisiveness, get to the root issue, and stop all these pesky symptoms? Let M Go!
“Let M Go” works because it incorporates your thoughts, feelings, morals, goals, and outcomes to make a holistically great choice for any issue you face.
Before you download this free fillable worksheet, I want to help you start the process with an example.
L (issue) - Trust is broken
E (emotions) - Anger, sadness, heartbroken, dismissed, worthless, unloveable
T (thoughts) - "His story doesn't make sense," "I feel trapped," "I want to make this relationship work," "I like him."
M (morals) - Loyalty and trust are important, healthy communication, validating my experience, and the value of space
G (goal) - I can get through it and we can move on
O (options)* -
1. Try to have a conversation again
3. Not forgive him and end the relationship
Not forgive him and stay in the relationship
Ignore it and pretend it didn't happen
2. Tell what I need in order for me to move on
Cheat him to get even
Couples counseling
*When listing options, include ALL options you can think of, even if you would never consider choosing them. Put every option on this list to truly make the best choice and explore you’re thoughts and emotions further. If you can narrow down to 1 option, you’re finished. If you have more, pick a top 3. List your top 3 in order of which option you will choose first, second, and third (see above for reference).
The Let M Go fillable worksheet is available as a free download below and on our online storefront.
