Life Slumps! And What To Do About It
Anyone else getting annoyed, frustrated, and angry by the continuous crap that gets thrown at them when just trying to live right, be an adult, and be happy? These past few years have been exponentially trying and exhausting for all of us. We have survived a pandemic – that we are still presently dealing with, with the potential of a new pandemic on the way, financial worry and inflation, war at home and overseas, trying to reconnect with the world after literal years of isolation, and just trying to manage our day-to-day stressors and burnout in our relationships, job, and our physical and mental health.
I have noticed that many of us are no longer using or seeing these circumstances listed above as reasons why we feel like we are failing and unable to get back to who we were pre-COVID. We have started to take it personally that WE are the problem and that something is wrong with us. I think we try to be honest with ourselves, not be the victim, and not make excuses for our behavior…it is easy to blame ourselves and be our own worst critic. After all, we know ourselves best and, therefore, we know we can do better and should do better. However, we HAVE to remember these things were and ARE direct reasons our life and daily routine changed…
I will disclose I have been in this cycle myself. It comes from several places *perfectionism and productivity shame* It feels validating that I AM the problem, not all these other stupid factors outside of my control. I desperately needed to feel in control to make some type of sense and understanding AND to do something about changing my circumstances. Unfortunately, that’s exactly where we start to experience those humbling shifts in the universe that knock us back down on our ass. It is here we get injured, broken up with, have a fight with a friend or family member, lose our job, stump our toe, get in a car wreck, can’t engage in coping skills, can’t pay our bills on time, get ghosted, etc. etc. etc. After so many of these shitty things, on top of the shitty way we were already feeling, WE EXPLODE!!!! The anger rises up and we burst into tears, numb ourselves with substances, binge eat, don’t eat, rage at ourselves and others, or give up and not get out of bed.
Once we are here, it feels impossible to get back on track consistently. We may have small moments of motivation, but then we’re back to feeling exhausted, burned out, sad, and frustrated…. straying all the way back to where we started before all those annoying, humbling events happened. Then, humbling events happen again, and the cycle continues. I get it and I don’t want any of us to get stuck or trapped in this cycle.
It is here we must look inward and understand that
1. Life sucks sometimes
2. We’re going to fall down throughout our life and that is OK - you’ve got up every other time before, what is one more time?
3. We need to give ourselves a break in some areas of our life, while working on areas we naturally have some control over (start easiest and small)
4. Reflect on why we are in this cycle (tap into your logical side)
5. Find or lean into supports to vent about our problems and feelings (hi, I am a therapist and right here for ya)
6. Take baby steps, it won’t all get fixed today and it’s going to take some consistency for change to happen – patience is a virtue for a reason
7. Don’t give into the fear of failure, disappointment, etc. – challenge your thoughts and feelings and logical behaviors will follow eventually
8. DO SOMETHING FUN! Not all fun costs money – sometimes we host a game night and have our friends help accommodate with games and snacks
9. Practice gratitude and celebrate all the wins that are around you, even if you really don’t freaking want to or even if they are microscopic
10. Show kindness to others, it naturally lifts us up, too
I’m here with you, I support you, and am always down to listen and help.
Until our next life crisis occurs,
Stephanie
